Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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