just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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