I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
vagina is talking i cant
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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