All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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