if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm really busy with my period
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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