forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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