guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
