Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
