Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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