I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
