...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
