Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
