and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
