This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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