google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
