just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
