I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
