do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
