Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
