like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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