careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
