Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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