There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
