I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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