Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
