I have demons in me.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
