pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
