cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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