i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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