She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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