i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
