i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
