dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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