so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
