its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
