It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
