Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
