wake up i wanna do it froggy style
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
