tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
