Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
