yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
