wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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