by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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