we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
