Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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