I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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