OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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