you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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