he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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