Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
