If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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