He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
